Story

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Story

Post  Nick on Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:02 am

I am currently creating a story/anime (not sure yet) and you are all in it, so HA! Joe and I have just spent roughly 4 hours on the phone descussing and debating everyones look, weapons, ect. and I am proud of what we came up with. Keep in mind this is a steampunk (mostly) anime so no magical stuff but we have come up with quite the characters. I'll post them so you guys can make your own versions or changes to it, I am just using your names unless you don't want me to. You all have titles that you can change if you want but I like them. This can change, but as a general rule everyone has an upclose, mid, and long range weapon. Also, you have a martial arts style I will BASE your attacking on, not doing moves from that style. tell me what you think guys.


Joe: "The Technomancer"
General Peronality Traits: Happy, Wise, Calm, Eccentric, Occasionally Smart Mouthed.
Weapon(s):Nagamaki Rifle (Covered blade becomes gun back andtip of handle uncaps to become barrel) For upclose encounters has fingerless gloves with electromagnetic gears on knuckles. Makes origami from paper that is a special metal sheet that can be controlled from gloves like puppeteer.
Clothing: Blue Trench Coat with golden edges and white double arrows on shoulder and back. Buttoned up shirt with long cargo pants and light brown army boots.
Martial Art: Tai-Chi (Intrnal Styles)


John: "The Mad Duck"
General Personality Traits: Kind, Quiet, Protective, Shy unless provocked, Berserk if angered.
Weapon(s): Arrangement of bombs that expand into Mace Heads. Has Two mace handles that bombs attach to and can be used as regualer maces. If handle is twisted then mace head will be released and spikes will force out. Can explode on his command. Also, has a Giant 2handed Wrench that can be used as a hammer/ vice grip if needed.
Clothing: Tanktop with suspenders. Cargo shorts. Has a greasemonkey look, steel toed boots and a gatsby hat.
Martial Art: Shaolin Do

There is one of Sara and Jake too but it is 2:30 and I am starting to pass out, more to come tommorow.
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:05 pm

hehe he... suspenders.... just remember wee one I do like some mid range shotgunnery

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Re: Story

Post  Jonth on Sat Aug 07, 2010 5:53 pm

HAHAHAHA! ... I laughed when I saw Abe as a steampunk cyborg... Anyway, sounds cool. I really don't want to have input because I like seeing my friends perceptions of me, and it's your story/manga.
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Sat Aug 07, 2010 6:07 pm

I figured it would go with the general theme of this whole forum ya know... clint eastwood, er I mean abe lincoln
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Re: Story

Post  Joe on Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:41 pm

Pretty funny. Its hard to see Jon as shy, or greasy. Y'never know in a steampunk world though. Grease is like duct tape in steampunk, everything can be fixed with it.

Also, that Abe needs goggles and some gears on his gun arm. The gear is all-important.

Edit:
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:49 pm

[b] WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ABE LINCOLN STEAMPUNK VARIATIONS!?!?!?!
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Re: Story

Post  Joe on Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:13 am

Well, he is the great emancipator. Hes probably fighting the evil steam-powered overlords to free us from their oppression.
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Sun Aug 08, 2010 1:19 pm

*blink* *blink*

oh yeah and your phone no is working!
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Re: Story

Post  Nick on Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:10 pm

Sorry about the wait, had to figure out what some of my notes meant because I make no sense when tired.


Jake: The Red Shadow
Martial Art: Ninjutsu
Personality: Stealthy, Crafty, Happy, Jokes often, Knowledgable (espicially in weaponry)
Clothes: Long Battletorn cape with most of sleeves cut off (tattered at end) Red and Black Clothing with many pockets to hold weapons
Weapons: Has very many Ninja tools but only the most commonly used will be dicussed. 2 Triple Drum Barreled Wolfhead shotgun pistols with rotating triangle heads, one chainsaw katana (outward rotating blades for most effecient hacking), A concealed "nail" gun strapped under wrist, Electricly charged knives that can be slightly controlled once throw with similar technology to Joes glove, A rotating Rocket Launcher as a "Last Resort" that has a tonfa grip and is strapped to his back under his cloak. Many others but they are not quite as "extravagent".


Sara: The Zephyr Mermaid
Martial Art: Usually uses weapon but grabs and throws are used
Personality: Funny, Honest, Trusting, Protective, Outgoing
Clothes: White buttonup shirt with a long shirt tail and a big shirt collar, Flared jeans, color scheme somewhat similar John's, Specialy Designed Goggles that have a triple lensed sight enchancer.
Weapons: An extendable baton/staff with a drum in the center for holding special pellets. Pellets are filled with various chemicals that cause reactions that appear as magic (Fire balls, Liquid Nitrogen Freezes, Acid Bubbles). A large Leather glove is worn to protect from the chemicals if necesarry. A slightly longer shaft with a tazer on the front. When button is pressed it extends into a bow which has a belt of arrow on it. If pulled back to one click can be fired like an automatic gun. For longer range and sniping can be used as a regular bow. When used with goggles deadly accuracy is common (Could shoot Clint Eastwood's eye on a tossed penny).




Thats all so far. TELL ME THINGS TO CHANGE OR ADD. I feel as though I am missing things so don't hesitate to correct me or change something.
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:54 pm

two shotguns are better than one... and I do like capes and cloaks... the concealed wrist nail daggers thingys are a very nice touch, very me. I will admit I had my doubts but very impressive tiny one. curious as to YOUR char.
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Re: Story

Post  Jonth on Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:40 pm

Quite amazed at the level of detail you've put in this. You are far more creative than me my friend.
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Re: Story

Post  Nick on Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:54 pm

Thanks for the complements guys. Joe really helped a lot with ideas for different weapons, he also put up with me for 3 whole hours. As for my character....meh. I can't decide on some key points and I keep making him too.......boring. He seems to just fit in the backround.


Last edited by Nick on Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:55 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Spelling errors)
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n

Post  Nick on Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:37 am

Got random dream inspiration so I am working on this again. I have tons of ideas but none fit together.....so if yall had some ideas that would be cool. By the way, it is steampunk and the main idea is we are against an army so ideas might fit better with that.
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:48 pm

well the most common ways small forces have ever overtaken staggering odds have almost always been through stealth and sabatoge, so read up on guerrilla warfare. and i notice you still are missing a char, maybe you might like traps like mines and such, easy way to even odds is to reduce em before there is a need to engage them. and as far as a theme why not just go post-appocolyptic fight over a tyrant hoarding resources.
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Re: Story

Post  Nick on Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:29 pm

The idea was the you guys are these elites and you all don't need the guerrilla stuff. However I can't think of just a basic storyline just to get started.
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Re: Story

Post  Jonth on Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:42 pm

It all depends on the level of realism you are going for. Look at Gundam wing, even those guys as elite as they were needed to use guerilla war-fare. That is a more realistic approach. If you take Slayers, the amount of power that one could acquire in that universe eliminated the need for any sneak attacks, even though that type of fighting could still be used if you were more of a stealthy/assasin type character (stupid Xellos...). That is a less realistic approach, but is just as legitimate in terms of story telling. To be honest, Slayers is probably one of my favorite animes, but Gundam wing is still up there pretty high on the list.
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Intro

Post  Nick on Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:44 am

This is the intro to the story.The main char is part of the Military that rules at the mid region of the world.



(Zoom in on large town ablaze. Terrors can be heard all around and people are seen being shot down and bodies dumped in pits. We focus in on a short soldier in a different uniform then the rest who just seems to be monitoring the operation. He has long red hair and a hood that covers the front of his face. His entire body is covered in different swords and he seems displeased.)
Screams can be heard all around us. We were sent to liberate the village of Albur from its old kingdom. The city had put up little to no effort but the orders were clear. The area was a necessary component to the Furor’s plan. The Areas to the North, East, and South had already been taken and dealt with the same, Albur was all that remained. It is all a routine, keep your self separated and think of it as a job; it is the only way to make it through sane as we have been told many times by our superiors. Get them in groups then take them out, any who fight back need to be dealt with immediately. I notice a little girl; no way could she have been more than 8. I should just take her to the front with the rest of them. She notices me. She runs toward me and hugs my leg and starts crying. She asks me to make it stop. What should I do….No time. I grab her and start running. We slip by mostly unnoticed due to the ensuing chaos. I notice we are being followed soon after we fled. Before we could get far we where surrounded. He reached for a gun and began yelling. I spoke little of their language, all I could understand was “Give………….….my…………..” I told him I won’t let her get hurt and he aimed the gun at her and pulled the trigger. I pushed her behind he as fast as I could and everything stopped for just a moment. I felt the bullets hit my back and some in my chest and arms. I told her to run and I went cold.


Last edited by Nick on Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:12 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: Story

Post  Nick on Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:45 am

that is just a basic outline for an intro
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:48 pm

yeah... i think your dead... thats not how i usually start...unless i'm a ghost... wooOOOOOOooooooo

lol, nah i'm joking, i love the intro kinda has that sin city graphic novel feel to it, if you've never watched that movie i'd suggest it for some inspiration, its a bit darker than i suspected you'd write, and i like me some darkness
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Re: Story

Post  Nick on Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:42 pm

I have seen Sin City 3 times now, love that movie. However, in my story not *everyone* dies
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Re: Story

Post  Nick on Wed Feb 02, 2011 9:42 pm

My entire body aches. Pain I have experienced few times in my life rushes over my whole torso and seems to burn my very soul. “He’s waking up”. I hear mumbles and shouts all around me. “Not yet, he’s not stable! Give him the shot!” I begin to struggle. I have no idea who is around me until I hear a familiar voice “Don’t worry so much, he isn’t worth it.” I feel the needle against my skin and I move away. I roll of the table and grab something near my bed. Small, wet…..a scalpel? I hold it at them and try to tell them to stay back but my words don’t come out well. “Stand down or I’ll finish you myself!” The Furor?! I drop the scalpel immediately and begin to salute but I lose my balance and fall to the ground. “If you can move get up now traitor!’. Traitor? I take a second and hold my breath and try to stand. I fall a little but I soon find my strength returning. I stand albeit of balance but I stand. “He shouldn’t even be able to move yet!” says one of the doctors. Things become clearer; I start to regain my vision. There are bandages over my face. I begin to remove them and notice they are completely soaked in blood. The Furor himself is standing in front of me with a small group of soldiers behind him. “What the hell were you thinking taking those shots?!” “She was just a girl, sir.” “SHE was the King of Albur’s daughter and a threat to the takeover!” “But sir, the enemy fired on her!” “That was my group of assassins I sent in there to make sure it was done! Because of you she escaped and we have no idea where she is!” Wait, she alive? That knowledge alone made me feel better somehow. I’m not sure how but I felt responsible for her. “Now we have an entirely new set of problems! Come with me!” He throws me an initiate uniform that is worn by new soldiers. “Sir this isn’t my Crusaders uniform.” “That is because you are no longer part of my Crusaders, you have been stripped of rank, honor, and trophies and after this mission you will be discharged without honors!” “But sir-” “Be grateful I am letting you live!” I followed him to the barracks where everyone looks down towards me. They all curse me under their breaths and some call me traitor. I finally arrive into the interrogation room. “Have a seat” says Officer Hanson, the Furors army adviser. They start a slide show. “You were kept alive for only one reason. Your final mission is to find and recruit or eliminate the five Elites.” “The five Elites?!” He looks at me smugly. “You have heard of them haven’t you?” “Yes but…..I never thou-” “I assure you, what you have heard is true. They are real and they are too high of a threat to ignore.” The Furor looks up at me “We are sending you to after them; they must join us or die. Either is acceptable. You leave next week.”
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:01 pm

so much for recovery time... walk it off! lol, write faster, you've peaked my interests
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Re: Story

Post  Joe on Thu Feb 03, 2011 11:30 am

Sounds great, you've got some momentum there.
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Re: Story

Post  Nick on Thu Feb 03, 2011 6:18 pm

Waiting for somebody to throw some input on this, I would like some tips please!
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Re: Story

Post  harbinger on Thu Feb 03, 2011 6:57 pm

i dunno it's pretty good, i do like the "be greatful i'm letting you live" part... i've been using that all day, my assistant boss the lady at my dad's attorneys office, my mom, though she hit me after i said it and it kinda hurt
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